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  • Writer's pictureTom Foxley

The Only 3 Components of An Exquisite Mindset

For the past two years, I’ve been using this model to help hundreds of business owners & entrepreneurs create the life they seek.

Mindset is messy and confusing if you don’t have clarity. So I wanted to share the 3 corners of mindset I teach my clients.

In this post, I’m going to tell you exactly what those things are.

But first, we must define what a good mindset is.

What the hell is mindset anyway?

If you Google ‘mindset’, you get the wrong answer.

Mindset is not only the beliefs you hold. It’s the way you feel too. And it’s the character you display.

If you don’t develop all three areas, you’ll fall short of your potential.

Here’s how I define a great mindset:

“The subjective state required to do what you need to do in order to self-actualise.”

Let’s break that down.

Your potential gap

The pinnacle of your development is called self-actualisation.

This is what you may mean when you say you want to unlock your potential.

There’s a gap between who you are currently, and the very best version of you.

That gap is the source of the discomfort in your life. It’s the reason you look back at your day and realise you missed yet another opportunity to move forward.

Brace yourself

I’ll put this bluntly because I think you can handle it (and because the “realise you’re everything you need to be” crew are WRONG).

You’re not everything you could be. In fact you’re a long way off and you know it.

You frequently fall short of your own high standards.

But that doesn’t mean you will never be good enough. It certainly doesn’t mean you can’t move toward self-actualisation.

When you reach self-actualisation, you not only contribute to your own life, but to your family’s and society too.

Aim at that ^^^.

Take deliberate, intentional action.

That action will move you toward self-actualisation.

(Oh, and it’s a moving target).

Doing what you need to do

Self-actualisation doesn’t happen when stationary.

You need to do shit to (a) produce the real world results you seek, and (b) grow.

But in an information-saturated world, where there are too many options to choose from, what do you actually invest your limited resources into?

‘What you need to do’ refers to the most heavily leveraged tasks you have available to you.

What actions can you perform that have an outsized return on effort expended?

Leveraged tasks usually have a price of admission: killing your ego and doing something you’re less competent at.

In your business, you can continue to play it safe by doing all the tasks you currently do, or you can do more heavily leveraged tasks through learning to use automations.

With your fitness, you can add in an extra training session to get .01% benefit, or you can finally quit eating crap to get a 10% benefit.

Or… pause for this one:

You can continue to self-soothe after your tough day at work by scrolling mindlessly through shit on your phone, or you can give your partner the love and attention she deserves.

Self-actualisation happens quickest when you stop performing the same behaviours over and over.

Seek novelty. Seek hardship. Seek growth.

Create the state

What I’ve written until now is purely logical. It’s basically…

Become better by doing difficult things in the pursuit of growth.

But you don’t do what is logical: you do what your mindset dictates.

And your mindset consists of three different components:

The state of your nervous system, the beliefs you hold, and the character you portray.

Poorly regulated nervous system = constant hustle mode created by fear OR complete shutdown mode.

Limiting beliefs = self-sabotage behaviour and inability to see your full array of options.

Poor character = always taking the easy route.

How to be better today than you were yesterday

  1. Do something to regulate your nervous system better. My go-to’s are; sleep better; non-sleep deep rest; breathwork

  2. Discover the story holding you back. Start writing in a journal and investigate the logic your mind uses to justify your behaviours

  3. Start developing your philosophy. Identify your values, read Stoicism & Nietzsche. “Stop arguing about what a good man should be, and be one” - Marcus Aurelius.


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